Foster Training

Tonight we did our first training session to become foster parents. It was pretty interesting and a little bit sad and quite well presented. I am not as nervous now but also more nervous than before. It is such a big responsibility and I know we can do it but the mistakes I have made with Chooky make me nervous because at least she's mine. I mean, I'm supposed to make some mistakes with her right, else what does she talk to her shrink about? We have some homework to do, some reflection on our own childhoods and our attitude to parenting. We will have to have about 10 hours of interviews eventually, on our own and together. I am looking forward to it. The bloke who ran the session tonight is a foster carer and he said that he went into it to help the kids but they have ended up helping him become a better person. He was so lovely, he had tears in his eyes as he spoke of the children that he had cared for and loved. I was also relieved to hear that it is better to become too attached than not enough to your foster children. The bloke also said that in order to be a really effective foster carer you have to invest yourself emotionally at your cost in order to help the child to learn attachment. I am reading this book at the moment called Mixed Blessings by a woman named Deborah Lee and she says she does not foster to enlarge her family but to help the community. I think these two things are the most important things I have learnt so far about becoming a foster carer. Yes it will hurt when the kids go home but how would it feel for me to have Chooky taken away and never have her home with me again. Becoming attached and then letting go is for the greater good of the child which is what is is all about, it is not about me and my needs. I understand that now whereas when we first applied I didn't, it was about me and my need to mother. I can see I will single handedly keep Kleenex in business! Back next thursday for another 3 hours, and we have to have someone come out to our house and go through module one with us which we missed last week due to my mongness.