Up the Mississipee...

If you miss a loop, you're out. The Princess of Darkness has discovered I have a bit of a talent for skipping. When I say talent, I mean, she enjoys giggling at me whilst I jump rope and my fat wobbles all over the place for her amusement. I have been trying to get to 50 in a row, which I finally achieved last thursday, I was pretty happy with it and decided it was even worth the little bit of pee that came out! Oh yes, ha ha ha, make the girl with a weak bladder jump. I told her to just wait until she has babies!!! Mind you she is such a fit bitch she will probably not have bladder issues at all! In a perfect world there would be tena pads available for all fat mums jumping rope at the gym. Hell in a perfect world coffee and chocolate would instantly melt fat from your thighs and bum and add perkiness to your boobies and handsomeness to your ugly husband. The Little Cutie Boy who is this young fellow who works down the gym cut the top of his thumb off when he was cleaning a spin cycle bike. They could not reattach it. SS and I are waiting oh so patiently for him to come back so we can give him a one and a half thumbs up on his performance. Poor bastard, nothing but pain comes of being fit you know!! He is the one who wrote SS's program which I say is pathetic and she says I am trying to kill myself. I have been getting her to spot me on the chinup machine which is SUCH a workout for her since I could barley lift myself today having flogged my arms on the pec fly and pushups. We bought some gloves for weights the other day, running around like Michael Jackson since we got them doing heaps of crotch grabbing and very pathetic moon walking. I am going to pull out the bedazzler and pop some pretty stuff on them. The guy who sold them to us had a distinct, "I can't wait to get you two crazy women out of my store" look on his face. That could have been due to the glove pulling out and trying on frenzy or the two girls running around climbing on his machines and knocking over all his yoga mats. You can always tell people who have no children!! I remember being one of them!