Freezing bloody cold

Today is freezing cold and absolutely pissing down with rain. I hate the rain and the cold. The rash on the pixie is a virus and she is a miserable little thing. The Polaramine we got yesterday the Dr said not to give her... so there goes Mummy's quiet time. ha ha ha Just kidding, I would need to give it to her and her father to have any quiet time and I think if I went back and got some adult strength they might get a bit suspicious. She is sooky and cranky and whinging and clinging. Mind you she is also warm and since I'm always cold in the winter I don't mind having another warm body to snuggle. Of course the only 'toys' she wants are things like the nail scissors or our phones or the remotes or the computer cord... and because she is sick she is acting like the biggest dying swan when I take them off her or move them from her reach. I do know that it is poetic justice because I suck so much when I am sick that my daughter now carries on... She has obviously got the "I'm the sickest person in the world" genes.

It has just occurred to me why FNL was not on last night... it was still thursday. It is on tonight. I will be snuggled up in my jammies in my bed under my mink blanket for them tonight, no part of me showing. I have to work tomorrow so I have to get up at 5 am in the freezing cold and rain. Goddam mortgage eh!!

The pixie is screaming and crying and grabbing handfuls of her hair, "the anguish, the anguish I feel Mummy, save me!" She makes me feel like the biggest superhero, lol. Once I get on my exercise bike tonight it will be 7 days and that is just such a fabulous start, I don't want to break it now. Wish me luck.

How to avoid feeling guilty.

So today is day six and it's still early so I'm not piking on my exercise, there's FNL on BB tonight to watch whilst I ride, and ride I must because I have fallen off the wagon today. I ate a burger which is bad for two reasons, the calories it contains and the bread which will make me sick. Now I feel sick and guilty and I think I have finally had another breakthrough in understanding how to not be fat anymore. If I eat crap I feel guilty, if I eat well, I feel good... it sounds so simple but anyone who has weight problems is more than aware it's not. It really is a mind set you need to be in order to lose weight. Usually what happens is I eat crap, feel guilty and then eat more crap because I feel bad and then I feel even worse and so it goes. Lesson learnt today. No more crap because it makes me feel bad and since I only get one go I am going to live doing things that make me feel good (or bad as the case at the time may be, he he he).

The Pixie is covered in a rash. The chemist says that it's an allergic reaction but I still think I will take her to the Dr tomorrow. It would be the public holiday when our Dr is closed that she comes out in a rash. At our swimming lesson, one of the other mums said her daughter had had something similar last week. The only thing she had yesterday she has never had before is a jar of Rogan Josh - if she is allergic to curry I am not sure what I will do with her!! I may need to swap her for another one!! (Yeah right as if I'm ever giving her away!) She has had some Polaramine and now she is very quiet and snuggly and cuddly. Maybe I will give her a daily dose!! I have to go and snuggle with her now because she loves me the best.

Exercising

You know what the good thing about exercising is? Is that if you do it, it stops the nagging feeling you have when you lie in bed at night that you have when you don't do it. I have just been on my exercise bike and that means it is now four days in a row that I have exercised. Hooray. I really like being able to go to sleep not stressing that I have done nothing again and that I am probably going to die of heart disease and obesity. Ever since my Mum died I am aware of how little time we really have. You know I worked out the other day that I have only lived a little over eleven thousand days. It's not much when you look at it like that is it? I am going to go and look at myself in the mirror now and see if I can see any weight loss and if not just tell myself I can so I can keep the motivation momentum going.

Uncharted

My cousin's band Bron-yr-aur Stomp is in the Uncharted competition. If you get a chance please go to www.uncharted.com.au and vote for his band. I have to go, I have a growth attached to my leg that appears to be weeping. I better get it something to eat!

Three days in a row...

I have exercised again today, I rode my exercise bike again today and have achieved three days in a row of at least thirty minutes physical activity. This is such a good start, this always happens though that I have a good start and then my motivation slowly dies. What do I do to keep it??? I have to try harder and try to keep my goals in mind. I have bought a lovely nightie from undercover wear in a smaller size to motivate me to fit into it. It may be coming to one of you eventually I guess. :(

I forgot to tell you that last week I got a speeding fine, it was in a school zone at quarter to four and there were no kids and I was going 51. Dam. I am so annoyed with myself because I don't really speed especially through school zones because of my own child and I always think I would like people to respect her when she is at school and slow down. So I handed over my licence and the copper came back to me and said, "Did you realise your licence had expired?" Well obviously I hadn't! It was then that I remembered getting the renewal form and tucking it away in my top drawer so the house looked tidy when some friends came over for a candle party a few weeks back. Bugger. I have not driven since and I have tried to do it online but since it has expired I can't... even though the copper said I could. So I still have not been to do it, but tomorrow is the day. I bet they don't take a new photo. That is another goal, lose enough weight I look different in my licence photo next renewal time.

Our back door has a lock and we have a key and we are all secure in our fortress now. Loving it. Big Mouth is on and my husband is waiting impatiently for me to join him to watch it in bed so I had better cut it off there for tonight.

Lovely new door

We have a lovely new back door. It has nice horizontal panel decorations and no windows so no one can look in at me whilst I am on the toilet now... now that that has ever happened but I have lived in fear of it. I will take a pic tomorrow and post it. I have to go and try out the new showerhead which has five different settings so I am a bit excited. We have had a productive day in the house, I have put rocks in the garden, and I have completely tidied our room and it looks just beautiful, the lounge room is tidy too. That is pretty exciting for me because I am trying to get the house unpacked completely after all this time and I am almost there. I almost do not have a gin's camp house. I can't wait to tell you all that the house is completely done and it all looks beautiful. Can't wait for the painting to start.

Exercise wise today I have moved the rocks, that counts, been for a walk along the beach and been for a ride on my exercise bike as well. I am feeling pretty healthy. Hooray. Okay off to try the shower. (Was a bit confused by I am Legend just to let you know how that went.)

My Suspicious Husband

(Here are a few more pics from the reject party, She who has flair's husband, Not so Bright, NSB and Julia Gulia and one of the boys from work with G-Dog (middle) and LHT.)

Ah, I have been away from you too long, I know. I have had a busy week. I am sorry. One night last week I was laying on my bed with the Pixie and I fell asleep, till LHT came in at about half ten and then I woke up for a bit once he went to sleep. Quite romantic isn't it. Well the jig is up about the bike. The guy from the bike shop rang him to tell him when his bike would be ready and said, "If you hear any rumours around town that I've been riding your bike, it's true, I took it to 130." Which LHT didn't believe, and he said, "What have you done to my bike Shazza?" I said nothing... and admitted I had set him up. It was revealed about 15 minutes after our friends TenB and the KTM owner sent through as message saying how mean I was. The KTM owner said, "If TenB said someone was riding my bike, I'd be straight down there." To which I replied that I was surprised that he hadn't, I think he had been suspicious all along. The KTM owner said that it is one thing to joke about a shelf, but a whole other thing to joke about a man's bike. Well... I guess you're right but that could be because you actually own a KTM whilst it is just LHT's dream. The money box continues to get heavier by the way, so the dream must become a reality one day. Made him an orange and black cake yesterday just to tease him... KTM cake I call it. I have always loved to play with the food colour.

So the bike shop called LHT the next day and said that when they had taken it out they had done some damage to the front end, bless them, they don't know of course that he knows now, so LHT played a trick on them. He screamed down the phone, "I'm coming down there!" And then hung up, they called him back, he ignored it until the fifth time they tried, and then answered with, "Have you cleaned my bike?" Ha I love it. I think they are such good sports for playing along.

On wednesday I decided to call a locksmith to get some keys cut for our front door because we have had none for the time we have lived here. They said to me, 'Is it urgent?" I said, "No, we've been here 14 months I can wait till friday." Thursday morning arrives and LHT comes in to say goodbye and tell me that back door is broken. The knob has finally broken and we cannot get out the back door. Thus, I have no keys for the front door and a back door that will not open so I cannot leave the house as if I lock it I will have no way of getting back in. (Unless I call the FM to come and jump through the window again of course.) Swimming lessons cancelled again, we call the locksmith, explain why we need them today and not friday. At half past four, they finally arrived, I was in a panic because we had to go to foster training at ten past five. We got going at quarter past with keys to the front door and matching keys to the front and back screens. Hooray, finally! The locksmith came back on friday morning to fix up the front screen door which he had had problems getting to close properly. The screen works, it locks, awesome. The front door stays open all day, last night hubby realises the wooden door only appears to lock and does not in fact lock at all. You could push it open from the outside. Consequently the locksmith was back again today and the front door is fixed. Bunnings tomorrow to buy a new back door and the locksmith will be back on monday to fit a new lock to it. So we should be totally secure then.

Walked today and rode exercise bike as well. No weight loss but I think my fitness is improving. Routine is the key and this week I am working on getting into a good one. I would really like one of those things the contestants on biggest loser had that counts how many calories you burn up each day, I wonder where you get one from.

I am off to finish watching I am Legend which seems a bit spinny but pretty good at the same time.

The Reject Party

It was great to dress up - if you know me, you know I am a BIG fan of the dress up. I thought everyone went to such a great effort in getting dressed up and Julia Gulia really enjoyed her night. As you can see the Pixie looked suitably unimpressed about having the yellow afro wig popped on her head. LHT gets lucky with Julia Gulia and She who has flair. The next pic shows the dance floor with Julia Gulia, her S-I-L, the Fabjubity Muffin (in the cute red bow),me, and She who has flair (SWHF). Shortly after this there was some nutbush action going on but not for long... Nutbush and Banrock Station Crimson Cab do not go so well together. Lifts Heavy Things was looking hot of course in his pj's, tie, nanna hat, ossom possum bum bag and glasses, the ladies found him hard to resist. SWHF was enjoying the strawberry cocktails that were on offer.

So of course we had a bit to drink and I thought it was pretty lucky that I woke up feeling okay the next morning. The pixie had a birthday party to go to so off we went and as we went past the bike shop, I had a thought, I should wind LHT up.

I rang him and said, "Is your bike ready?" "What, I don't think so, the cables aren't in yet, " he says. "Oh, that's weird, I just saw somebody riding your bike, they were riding it pretty hard you know." "Hey? They don't need to ride it to test the cables, what the hell are they doing?" "I don't know but it was definately your bike, I recognised your number plate," I said. "I'll see if they ring me," he says.

He he he, so I have planted the seed. Then I rang the shop and said what I had told him. They were impressed. I said, "Let's wind him... very very tight." Then I called G-Dog and teed him up to make a big deal of it too and how they really shouldn't have been riding it at all. Lol, i am laughing as I type this, because as I have said, he doesn't read this so we can all enjoy laughing at my dear husband. Anyway, in the morning I am going to ring them again and let them know he is still believing that someone rode his bike and that he is just waiting for them to ring him. I am thinking that maybe I will get them to say it was in an accident or something, I'm not sure, I'll see what they think. Maybe I should even go down there. Oh I just love how well this is turning out.

Tomorrow night we are going to dinner with Saturday Daddy and I will organise for him to come over and I'll put some more things up by myself. (Just btw I DID put a bookshelf together by myself the other night, well almost, hell, he doesn't read it, ALL by myself.)

Do blondes have more fun?

I have been to the hairdresser and have been given a lovely caramel blonde colour which is lovely and not at all skanky or caravan park like. Woo hoo! I just needed a bit of a change and they do such a lovely job at Hair Divas. I can't wait for the reject party on friday night to test out the new do and have some shots and drink a couple of cocktails and be totally irresponsible for the night. LHT took care of the Pixie today and they both seemed to survive quite well. She is covered in ant bites from the thousands we have in the house and cannot get rid of, we are on a quest to rid our house of them this week. Poor bubba, she still seems to love us though and she's happy as long as you are feeding her something. She is truly our child when you hear that isn't she! These pics are my new hair, my new ugg boots and LHT going off on his trip the other week. I was so pleased he was finally getting out of my hair and I put the water on to wash the dishes, remembered he wanted some photos taken and by the time I came back I had flooded the kitchen!

Spillproof cups

Over the past few weeks I have spent a fair whack of cash trying to get a cup for the Pixie that doesn't leak. I would buy one, use it and it would be good, then the next time she would use it she would end up soaked because the cup had leaked. I bought an expensive one, I bought a cheap one, I bought the inbetween priced ones, nothing was working. UNTIL... Lifts Heavy Things came in the other day and said, "I've opened up the caps on the bottom so she can have a drink." "Sorry," I said, "What do you mean?" "The caps," he says, "Surely you know about the caps on the lid that you have to open so she can have a drink?" "Hmm, maybe you should show me," I said. He pulls off the lid to Chooky's drink and then proceeds to show me how he 'opens' the caps so she can have a drink. "AHA!" I cried , "Now I know what's been going on! You have been opening all the caps and therefore making the non spill cups spill everywhere!!" "Oh, is that what they're for?" he says. So now our child has not 2 cups, not 3 cups, not even 4 cups but 9 cups that are all perfectly non spill as long as no one opens the 'caps'!! Lucky I plan on having more than one child and also that Pixie has a lot of friends that hopefully will come over and have a juice in a non spill cup sometime soon. If only her father was as advanced as she is maybe he would have a better chance in life.

The Money Box

Recently I bought the hubby a money box, you know the kind that you have to open with a tin opener or else you can't get the money out. On the top I wrote KTM 530 excr and gave it to him as a little present. Well... I have never seen him save so fast! We probably won't be able to pay the house payments this month because it will be in the money box! He really wants that motorbike! Maybe I will offer to pay him for his jobs around the house. Ha ha.

Today he says to me, "When you put that shelf up, did you use the red screwdriver?" "No... I used the drill," I said, thinking to myself surely he will click now. He must surely know that I have about as much idea about using the drill as he has about scrapbooking. I asked, "Was that okay?" "Yep," he said without blinking. Oh My God, he still believes me! I even said to him the other day, "you should read my blog." Oh this is so great, i love tricking him like this!

He bought me a lovely watch for mother's day, it has a pink face. I also got some pj's (bought the wrong size - too big - but i wanted to wear them so now i have to keep them), slippers but I bought them and I am getting my hair done tomorrow. I am thinking I might go blonde. We are going to a rejects party on friday night for Julia Gulia's birthday. Hubby is wearing summer pj's with the shirt open... and his VERY hairy chest showing. I have a very sexy towelling number with a matching headband and choker. Can't wait to dress up, I love dressing up. I promise to post some pics of us looking all hot and stuff, even the kid has some dodgy op shop clothes.

Foster Training

Tonight we did our first training session to become foster parents. It was pretty interesting and a little bit sad and quite well presented. I am not as nervous now but also more nervous than before. It is such a big responsibility and I know we can do it but the mistakes I have made with Chooky make me nervous because at least she's mine. I mean, I'm supposed to make some mistakes with her right, else what does she talk to her shrink about? We have some homework to do, some reflection on our own childhoods and our attitude to parenting. We will have to have about 10 hours of interviews eventually, on our own and together. I am looking forward to it. The bloke who ran the session tonight is a foster carer and he said that he went into it to help the kids but they have ended up helping him become a better person. He was so lovely, he had tears in his eyes as he spoke of the children that he had cared for and loved. I was also relieved to hear that it is better to become too attached than not enough to your foster children. The bloke also said that in order to be a really effective foster carer you have to invest yourself emotionally at your cost in order to help the child to learn attachment. I am reading this book at the moment called Mixed Blessings by a woman named Deborah Lee and she says she does not foster to enlarge her family but to help the community. I think these two things are the most important things I have learnt so far about becoming a foster carer. Yes it will hurt when the kids go home but how would it feel for me to have Chooky taken away and never have her home with me again. Becoming attached and then letting go is for the greater good of the child which is what is is all about, it is not about me and my needs. I understand that now whereas when we first applied I didn't, it was about me and my need to mother. I can see I will single handedly keep Kleenex in business! Back next thursday for another 3 hours, and we have to have someone come out to our house and go through module one with us which we missed last week due to my mongness.

Clumsy, clumsy, clumsy! D'oh!

So my friend and I did our first walk monday before last, on the tuesday I slept wrong and totally stuffed my back for three days. I was limping around the house like a total mong and my kind husband took thursday off to 'look after' me. This involved him letting me sleep till 8am and then working on his motorbike, going to Supercheap and getting ready to go away for his trip away the next day whilst I looked after him, myself and the bubba. Thanks hubby, next time you can go to work!! It's like having two children at home!! Anyway off he went and The Pixie and I were having a lovely weekend. On Saturday we came home and I grabbed her out of the car and on the way into the house I fell. I think it would have been pretty spectacular to watch because I went down on one foot, grazed the opposite knee and ended up on my back AND on my knees. Chooky of course thought it was a great game and I'm sure wanted to do it again - NO! Once is enough! I seemed to be okay, foot was a bit sore but we still went to Julia Gulia's for dinner. When I got up to leave I had to ask her to carry the child (she has just had surgery!) cause my foot was really sore. I could not walk until tuesday!! Finally today at twenty past five I hopped on my bike to warm up for my walk and got the dog out and the water and was all ready and my friend didn't show up! Macy and I went for a walk a few times round the oval across the road. The child said Macy today, isn't she clever. I think it must be because we are ALWAYS shouting, "Macy, shut up," she sure loves to bark. Taking her for walks makes her much quieter so I am aiming for it every day. I think I might be being a bit of a pussy with this weight loss thing. I really need to step it up a bit. I am not seeing much weight loss but I am seeing an increase in my fitness (and injuries!!).

Oh and by the way on the shelf front when hubby went away for the weekend I got a friend's husband to do it and then told Hubby it was me... which he still believes!!! And since he never reads this blog the only way I will get busted is if you dob!! It's great, I'm going to get him to come back and put up some sconces for me and continue to spruke about my skills with a drill and screws. I can't wait to see how long it takes before he realises I've been having 'Daddy Saturday' as I call him come over and do this stuff!!

The Biggest Loser

How great do they all look? So inspiring. Pity i had the whole season to lose some weight and didn't! And now we are into big brother. Must just keep going... keep inspired and if one day doesn't go well just to keep on going and trying and never giving up.